Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Never Thought This Day Would Come...

Well folks, I wish I had better happier news to report. I always enjoy sharing uplifting thoughts or ideas with you, but today is not so bright or happy, at leased not for me.
I recently found out my husband had decided to move on and as of now we are starting the process of divorce. Needless to say I was a bit surprised, but more so saddened, hurt, and a bit terrified. (Was everything wine and roses? NO. But I did expect some participation in counseling or therapy, something to show that you still want things to work! That your family was important enough to try.)

I'm just at a point of shock really. I wanted to ask any of you reading this for a word of advice, support, or maybe just wanted to get it off my chest somewhat as well. I am raising a son as a single parent, running a household on my own, and well...I am in desperate need of a job. (I figure a part time one is a good place to start seeing I have been out of the work force for oh, six years now! I'm not even sure where to go or what to look for....Yikes!)

Ya know, to be totally honest I never thought I would be writing this kind of news. When I married it was for better or worse, sickness and health, and even richer or poorer...and Lord knows I've seen the poorer much more during these years!!! I've been cheated out of my family life, of sharing time with a man I loved so much, and the dreams we once had together.

Where do I go from here and how do I begin to pick up the pieces? That is what I have been thinking about for the last 2 weeks. It takes a lot out of someone. The gal I once knew that liked to sneak a cookie or two at night has been avoiding food like the plague. The woman that waited for her husband to come home after work has been turned into someone who stands around and looks at the door...

Does it get any easier? Lord I hope so.

Thank you all for listening.....
Danielle

17 comments:

The Thrifty Divas said...

Danielle, I am so sorry to hear this news! I felt compelled to write you because this happened to me about 9 years ago. I had been married to my high school sweetheart for 7 years and one day, boom! He announced it was over. Was it all great? No, just like you said but I thought we could fix it. He didn't even try - nor did he want to! I was so mad. I think the madness lasted more than the hurt.

Anyway, I am here to tell you that you need to lean on God, your family and your friends right now. You can do anything. You are a strong woman who has huge talents! Your blog is awesome and maybe you can make money doing this (or more money). Life will get better and just take it one step at a time. Your son needs you and you need him.

By the way, I met the man of my dreams after I had my mini-breakdown 9 years ago. I met my current husband online (yes, those things do work) and we've been married for 7 years and have 2 beautiful boys. God blessed me and he will bless you! :)

Kathie @ my net finds said...

Hi Danielle,

I'm so sorry to hear this and I wish I had something useful or comforting to say. I wish I had some advice for you....I'm glad you have your son. A friend of mine is divorced and she said she made it through by focusing on her daughters.....you have my thoughts & prayers!

Bunny, The Paris House said...

Danielle, I wish more than anything I could say something or wave a magic wand and make all your sadness and pain go away, unfortunately I can't do that. What I can say is that I KNOW this shock, sadness and despair will pass and lessen in time. I have not been through divorce but I am a cancer survivor..I never thought, at the time I would ever have my old happy life back but I now do and it does get better. Be thankful you have your son, your health, and your youth..you are young and beautiful and have so much to offer. God is good and I believe all things happen for a reason, its just so hard to understand the reason while we are suffering. Please email, write on my blog or call me anytime if I can help you or if you just need to talk. My heart is breaking for you , I hope you know how special you are to me.
Each day will get better..just keep looking into your beautiful sons eyes :)
with love
xx
Bunny

carma said...

Noooo. I am sad to hear this :-( You were cryptic in a summer blog post and I had a feeling things weren't going well for you.

Thank goodness you have your wonderful mom who will hopefully pitch in when you need help.

Now is a great time to look for seasonal holiday work. Retail is a pain, but it would get you out there and back in the swing of things, and since it is only temporary, it will give you time to come up with a long-term plan.

It is going to be tough, but I always remember the Dr. Phil quote about "It is better for kids to say they came from a broken home than to still be living in one." Your son will be better for it.

Keep your chin up and stay strong for him.

koralee said...

Ahhhh...my love is with you. What a hard thing to have to go through. But you will get through it one day at a time...you and your son is all that matters ...make sure you stay strong..I truly believe your bad days will get fewer and fewer until one day the sun will shine brightly on you once again...do not give up hope. Hope will keep you going and help you to be strong. You are in my prayers. xoxoxo

Priscila said...

Im new to you blog and have really enjoyed it. Your son is so cute! Im sorry to hear about the news. I am praying for you and if you need anything let me know :)

If you would like come check out my blog and enter my current giveaway at littlemissheirlooms.blogspot.com
I hope you decided to follow me because I try to bring my readers a new and AMAZING giveaway every Monday!
Xo
Priscila

Sophia's Mom said...

Danielle, I am sorry to hear the news.

I wish I had advice to give but all I can say is that it is hard to pick up the pieces but it is doable! And I have total faith in that you are capable of succeeding!

Good luck to you! HUGS!!!

http://www.thewannabewahm.com

Bunny, The Paris House said...

Hi Sweetie, its me again. Just want you to know I read your comments on my posts last night and they are so kind and mean so much to me. I was up all night , our beloved dog Maggie is 14 years old and is very very ill, we don't think she will be with us much longer...so it was so nice to have something so sweet to read last night while we were up caring for her. I hope today finds you a little better and as always you are in my thoughts!!
love
Bunny

Mighty M said...

I came by from SITS to say hi, and now I can see you need a lot more than a hello! I am so sorry to hear your news, how hard a time you are going to have to endure for a while. It sounds like you have a ton of bloggy friends to help you get through it! Take care of yourself and your son!

marie said...

Geez, first time here and I don't even remember how i found your blog but here is what I have learned...

*Yes-things do get better.I married my HSS and 6months after we had our son, he decided he did not what to be a dad or be married. FUN TIMES!! (but life is so much better now)

*Lean hard on your family, friends and God. No joke-not only are you going to need them but your child will need to be completly surrounded by love and people who will not leave him.

*Leave town. I mean it! Even if its not exotic destination, GO!! I did it as a way to mentally shift my life to becoming a divorced mom, left (some) of my grief in that place as well.

*Get a great no-MEAN- attorney. I promise....sounds harsh now but you are representing your childs needs (and yours). I'm not saying not to play fair BUT sometimes them ex's get a little fiesty!

*Dont stop eating. Dont overeat.

*If you dont know how, go learn to shoot a gun! Its fun and very empowering!

*Dont hang around bitter men hatters. Not ALL men are turds. Just your ex. And mine. And my best friends.

*Never bad mouth the sperm donner to your son. He will figure out the faults of his pops on his own.

ok that should give you somthing to chew on for a while.
This sucks really bad but I bet a dollar to a donut your gonna come out of this a better mom and women.

Welcome to the club Brown Eyed Girl!
Marie

Twincerely,Olga said...

HI! Stopping by from SITs! I am so sorry to hear this!! I went thru a divorce here! We were married for 15 years and tried everything to make it work(or I did)he loved his beer and still does.It tore at my heart and I remembering doing some of the things that you mentioned! It does get better but it takes time!stop by! and hugs to you!

Gabrielle said...

You know all I can do is pray for you, for strength and peace and I am so sorry!

Bee and Rose said...

Danielle...I am sending you loads of hugs and emotional support...I am here for you...anytime you need....

Bunny, The Paris House said...

Hi sweetie, me again..just checking in. If you need anything let me know and I'll try and help
xx
Bunny

Debbie said...

Danielle, I am only a new reader to your blog but I am so very sorry to hear about your struggles. It sounds like you have tremendous spirit and determination and I have to think you will do well. I will keep you in my prayers.

The Redhead Riter said...

I am so sorry to hear of your sadness. I do not have any super answers of where or how to find a job. If you need help with a resume I would be happy to help you or put it together for you. I know how terrifying it is, but it won't always be this awful. Although you do not feel that the sun has a right to shine each morning, the days will become easier. Pray. Pray like you have never prayed before. In the morning, throughout the day in your head, and every night. He is truly your greatest source of hope. I will pray for you tonight with my family. Hang in there. I have a listening ear if you need one. ♥

Karen said...

I came by to thank you for visiting last week on my SITS day, but I am so sorry to read this.

My parents divorced when I was 9. It was hard for my mom, but I think the only way she got through it was by keeping herself busy. She got a hobby and spent as much time getting out of the house as she could. She usually took me and my brother with her, of course, but we really didn't sit at home much.